Night one · Tuesday 23 March 2027
One venue. Four Tuesdays.
Corporate hospitality evenings. Horrendous, isn't it. You turn up, you do small chat with people who aren't really your person, and you grin and bear it.
So I put on an R&B and soul night instead. Nobody pitching, nothing to sit through, nobody at the front of the room.
- Arena tours
- Major UK festivals
- UK top 40 artists
£500 a seat. See the price and what it includes.
Hear the sound
Everyone in that room was seventeen once.
Music's the only thing that turns a room round to face itself. Panels can't, and I've sat through enough of them to know.
It's how one person deep is meant to become three or four in a single evening.
Have a listen to where a night sits.
Never Too Much
Luther Vandross
Somebody Else's Guy (Radio Mix)
Jocelyn Brown
I Found Lovin'
Fatback Band
P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)
Michael Jackson
Emotions
Mariah Carey
Don't Walk Away
Jade
Return of the Mack
Mark Morrison
Love Come Down
Evelyn "Champagne" King
The player is loaded from Apple Music, which sets its own cookies, so I only load it when you ask.
The sound, not the line-up.
The music
Proper music everyone knows the words to.
- Motown and soul
The records your mum hoovered to.
- Soulful house
For the one client who's been to Ibiza and wants you to know.
- R&B
Your Head of Procurement knows every word to No Scrubs.
- Old-school reggae
Nobody's too senior to sway.
- Classic UK garage
Someone on your client list went to Ayia Napa in 2001. This is for them.
- Not included,
No Sweet Caroline. - Not included,
No Mr Brightside. - Not included,
No Wonderwall. - Not included,
No Coldplay. - Not included,
No Shut Up and Dance. - Not included,
No Angels. - Not included,
No ABBA. - Not included,
No Grease Megamix.
Everyone wants to sing along. Not a cheesy singalong, because we're not at a wedding.
The shape of the night
Doors at 6. Last song at half ten.
The invitation asks for three hours. The night runs four and a half hours, and the act's on at quarter to nine, so there's a reason to stay.
Tuesday, always. It's a school night so everyone's still in town, and nobody's got a train to catch at half six.
6.00, Doors
Straight from the desk. Food from the moment they walk in, and it says so on the invitation. First DJ on low.
7.00, The MC comes on
Same DJ, still building. The MC names the room, names the house rules, gets off.
7.15, The room's full
Everyone's in, everyone's fed, and nobody's looked at their phone yet.
7.45, The floor starts
Nineties and noughties R&B. Same DJ, nearly two hours in, and they've built the whole thing.
8.45, The act
The live act, room at its fullest. Deliberately the moment people would otherwise start thinking about their train.
9.30, The second DJ takes it home
The only handover of the night, onto a room already at its peak. Garage later, as it loosens.
10.30, Last song
Out by eleven, in central London.
What's included
The room, and everyone who runs it
Full hire of a live music venue in central London, not a ballroom. Food all night, hosted bar, and the venue's own crew.
The people I bring
Two DJs from the scene, an MC, one live act, a photographer and a videographer. All booked by me, and the DJs and MC direct.
Eighty seats, and your name on them
Eighty seats a year, ten to thirty at each night. Your name up, your own area, your guests.
Sound, lights and staging
Sound and lights, all managed. Nobody from your side lifts a finger.
A hosted bar, for everyone
Hosted bar all night with serious no-alcohol options.
The photographs, and a short film
Pictures and a short film afterwards, to use however you like. No report on your own guests.
The line-up, the photos and the film go to members. Nobody's face ends up on this website.
The line-up
Not a fella with a laptop and a Spotify playlist.
The DJs are specialists. Years on the circuit, support slots on arena tours, and sets at the biggest festivals in the UK. They read a room for a living.
The live act is the artist behind the records. UK top 40 hits, tours all over the country, and BRIT and MOBO winners among the people I book from.
I book every one of them myself. You get the names when you're in. Not before, and not on here.
What a good one looks like
A description, not a promise. I'm not going to tell you how many walk through the door.
- The room finds its feet somewhere around twenty past eight.
- Somebody's finance director takes his jacket off. That's the bit you're paying for.
- Two people who had only ever been on the same email thread end up next to each other on the floor.
- Somebody asks who this is and gets their phone out to find it.
The house rules
The house rules. There are four, and they're all short.
- Nobody sells to anybody. Not me, not whoever invited you, not whoever's stood next to you.
- No badges, no lanyards. You're a person here, not a lead.
- Nothing to sit through. No speeches, no slides, nobody doing eight minutes on the vision.
- Leave whenever you like. Nobody's going to make a thing of it.
You turn up as a guest at your own do.
The invitation
The invitation does more work than the venue.
You send it, from you, in your name, and you run your own replies. An invitation from you lands better than one from a supplier they've never heard of.
I'll give you the wording and timings if you want them, and it'll never say drinks and nibbles.
Private invitation
Your company
invites you to an evening of R&B and soul
Tuesday 23 March 2027 · Doors at six · Central London
No speeches. Nobody selling.
The guarantee
What I promise, and what I won't.
There's good evidence a room like this changes how people in it feel about each other. There's no published evidence it moves a contract.
Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling you something.
| Nothing up front | Nothing invoiced until the venue's held and the date's locked. If it never confirms, you've paid nothing. |
|---|---|
| Every line of the spec | Delivered, or you don't pay for what's missing. It's in the contract. |
| What you won't get | No turnout number and no pipeline number. Nobody in this trade can promise who walks through a door. |
That's the night.
Nothing invoiced until the night's confirmed · Every line of the spec, or you don't pay for what's missing · I never pay a supplier out of money you haven't sent